Back on track after a LONG cold turkey treatment

Sometimes, I feel like I had been on some drug for the past 3 years, and it feels weird now that I'm getting my life back on track...

What a drug "L O V E" was. It felt shittier than a hangover, being high on pot or having a bloody nose after a night of sniffing cocaine. But, I guess the worst thing is that sometimes, just sometimes, like a regular smoker who hadn't smoked for a while, you'd feel like falling back into that "comfort zone".

Looking back at this semester, (not to boast) but I do think I'd progressed really well from being a emo nemo to a fairly diligent student. I do my readings, go to my classes, do my tutorials on time, pay attention in class, participate as much in class, try to forge a relationship with my lecturers and tutors, do my essays early, finish 'em on time, sleep early when I have nothing to do, cook my dinners. Yeah, I can say I've been a good boy.

But just when I think I'm over the drug, something happened when James and I went to the preview of the Country Road sale today...

E: Argh. The entire world's probably going to be there.
J: Really?
E: Yes, the store will be flocked with students...
J: ...
E: And I bet my neighbors would be there as well.
J: ...
(Both of us walked into the store)
E: OMG. That's Chloe. (Waves and smiles) Quick this way. Vera's probably here too.
J: Are you sure? (Gets pulled by Ernest)
E: Highly likely. OMFG. She's really here. (Frantically tries to calm himself down while pretending to be natural.)
Meanwhile, James went missing. Leaving Ernest to deal with this crisis alone. :( *sobs*

Yes I admit, my heart did beat faster and all and the only thing that I can think of when I saw her was how perfect she still is and how impossible it is for anyone to beat that benchmark. Ok, I need to stop. I'm rambling.

Funny thing is, I don't feel emotional at all. There's the "oh-save-me-'cos-I'm-falling-in-love-again" feeling but there's no sense of sadness, reject, disappointment. There's more excitement than that dreaded "heart-sinking" feeling.

喜欢你的脸 像天使那么动人
用微笑遮盖 心中所有泪痕
我看到你 孤单自己平衡
你让我心痛 心疼

WHEN WILL I MEET ANOTHER GIRL WHO CAN MAKE MY HEART BEAT THIS WAY?!

p.s. maybe one day I will declassify that final email I'd written to her while I was in North Carolina, that final proclamation of my feelings for her when I realized that the very emotion that's swallowing me, is the very emotion that keeps me alive - my love for her. One day... That one fine day when I'd be numb to all this... ... ...