一年前的阴影仍然存在

[Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know]

Qing's away on some silly camp. Guess she'd be delighted to know that her boy shared the first Youtube vid, telling me about the chio bu in the MTV. Lol... Totally up another level liao... Anyway, that's not the main point today.

Sometimes, especially recently... Just when I thought I'd have moved on from Vera, the 阴影 of the entire saga will come back and haunt me. I really don't want to 陶醉在她的阴影中 but It's so difficult. Songs I listen to, movies or dramas I watch, I can only think of her. That 心酸的感受 is really 不好受 man. I cannot and dare not even look at photos of my other friends whom I know will feature her. In Friendster or Facebook, I must navigate properly, cannot anyhow click. Arh boh end up, damn 凄惨 for the rest of the night.

What's more when I told someone that I like her 2 weeks ago? I've waited very long to 向她表白 you know. In fact, I waited to confirm that I'm totally over Vera, then, I decided to tell her. But every now and then, when the 阴影 comes back, I feel absolutely guilty - like as though I've told a lie. But it's not. I've searched myself several times, and I know I truly like her. The only problem is, perhaps not enough. I've made that mistake 6 years ago with the Iris-Esther saga and I cannot do that now. And I absolutely DO NOT want to be 凄惨 again man. It's too painful, too sad...

So even the thunder storm is over, the dark clouds still linger and I have no choice but to wait. So meanwhile, you can still go to the beach but without the sun, it wouldn't be as fun. Crops can still grow but similarly without the sun, you won't get a good harvest. So the only solution is to wait. As the cliche saying goes, 时间能医好伤痕...

One thing is certain... I miss her very, very much now.