Feeling | Lost
Listening | Jacky Cheung & Regine Velasquez - In Love With You
Thinking | "Should I call her on Monday?"
"Wednesday is officially Chio Bu Day." That's what I felt as I was walking to class today. But as soon as I saw my grammer test paper, I think today's officially "WAKE UP Day". Distinctions are getting further and I wonder if it's still within reach. It's very tough doing your courses alone. No one to spur you on, no one to study with, no one to discuss... I'm never the one-man-show kind you know. Not to mention my lack of discipline. How?! Everything is in a mess. My entire life is in a mess. Every single damn thing is out of sync. Maybe coming here isn't a good idea after all.
FIGHT. That's what I tell myself. But from where do I draw the energy from? Every so often, I ask God for the strength, the courage and the wisdom to make the right decisions, to do the right thing. Am I drowning? Or have I drowned? I don't know. It's really a bad semester. Research, learning Kanji, tuning my grammer, all these is what uni asks of me but I can't seem to give. Distractions? None. Problems? Plenty. What should I do? There's just so many things to do and so little time. I'm very very tired. I can feel it as each day passes by. I feel so drained, so empty. Everyday, I try to live it to the fullest, making use of every single opportunity that I have but there's no sense of fulfillment. What's the point of living? This misery is sickening. I have never ever felt so low in life. Never. The only thing that keeps me going everyday is what's left of my common sense. No pride, no confidence, nothing.
かみさま、助け出ください。。。 (God, save me...)
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