You've lost that loving feeling

Forget (v):
1. To be unable to remember (something).
2. To treat with thoughtless inattention; neglect: forget one's family.
3. To leave behind unintentionally.
4. To fail to mention.
5. To banish from one's thoughts: forget a disgrace.
6. Informal. To disregard on purpose. Usually used in the imperative: Oh, forget it. I refuse to go!

v. intr.
1. To cease remembering: Let's forgive and forget.
2. To fail or neglect to become aware at the proper or specified moment: forgot
about my dental appointment.

Today's day 2 on the first week of the second-half of the semester. An unusual day for an unusual start. In fact, unusual's an understatement. Gosh, I don't know why I'm keeping a blog when I'm always so speechless. 2 essays, 1 oral, 1 listening test, 2 exams and numerous tests to go before I fly to Perth to meet up with my family. For once, I can't wait to leave this place. I can't wait to see my sister. Shucks, this reminds me that I'd to get something for her. (Oei, pretend you never see this ok? Hahaha...) I'm looking forward to hanging out with her, telling her all the stories. God, I thank You for her.

I'm such a loser. Can't seem to do anything well. Okay, except for being slightly better at Japanese as compared to my peers. But that's because of my foundation listening to Japanese songs, watching anime and movies. How will I ever succeed? How to succeed? Is it to mug? Is it to lock myself behind that wooden door and bury myself with the research? I really hate myself for being what I am today. I thank God for all the buddies that I've found but that's about it. Is getting into Mass Comm an achievement? Or is it my internship at MediaCorp or the Ministry? Whilst I understand results are not everything, I can't seem to find confidence. Not now at least. Fags and alcohol will never solve anything. Neither will escaping help. Don't try to understand what I've written because the thoughts are not linked. I'm random, so are my thoughts. If you really want to understand (that is, if you have too much time) read in-between the lines. I failed to score in poly and I cannot afford to allow that to happen again. Yet, I'm falling into the same trap. Why? Does it boils down to discipline? Or am I just a loser?

For now, here's something old but has been on repeat. Oh, those using iTunes on windows, go take a look at mytunes redux. Extremely useful in your school's library or in the office. (Eugene, thanks for the lobang, pity I'm running on OS X.)

(Talking:)
Wish I'd told her how I felt,
Then maybe she'd be here right now,
But instead...

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I'm dyin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me (Yeah...)
(Hums...)
Nobody, nobody, but me...

Tomorrow morning I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you where ever, ever you might go
And I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

Yeah, sad when the nights are lonely...

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me...